IT'S NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE!

. And I give up.

I've been listening to the same song for the past 45 minutes. I feel like I'm stuck in a loop again. But I can't listen to anything else right now.

I thought I was over it. I thought I'd concured this need to be liked and wanted. Apparently I was wrong. I think he has this secret ability to know when I'm feeling like shit. He makes my day go from pretty damn shitty to me falling asleep with a smile. Of course I always wake up the next morning on the verge of tears when I remember that nothing real was part of the exchange.

I wonder if Bunny told him to.

Need to work on getting rid of my paranoia. I can't trust people and all i want to do is find that one person who i can just open up to and just cry on their shoulder for ages. Bunny came close, but I know if she had to decide between me or Em, it wouldn't be me. And god damn that just makes it twice as worse. I know I'm the secondary again and again. And then once I had the friend thing going with irene I just fuck it up again. I just want to call her right now and apologize. I didn't mean it. I can be nice to jim, I just want her to talk to me and not dislike me. Irene, she's the only one I thought I could never lose. Damn it to fucking hell.