End of a Summer

I have a whole stream of 'next summer's lining up. Just like I do every Summer. For once, i just want to do everything. I want to have the Summer that I'll never be able to live down. It will involve a whirlwind romance which will end suddenly and tragically and on my road to new love I will travel the world meeting all sorts of people and learning all sorts of things. I'll find a make-up artist who sees the beautiful princess behind the sad eyes and she'll make me beautiful and we'll travel around together. We'll pick up other people, and we'll create a band of such great friends we won't know what to do when I tell them I have to go back home and to school. But for the last week we'll do everything that any of us has ever dared dream to do. I'll have slept with most of the men in the group, but will still not have completely recovered from the loss of my beloved. In the end, it will be a hearfelt fare well and I'll be back home. Surrounded by friend whom I cherish, yet at the same time, I'll find that the walls seem to be caving in around me. I'll keep in touch with all of them, but it will never be the same, that one summer will be the one thing we would never forget, and slowly as the years pass, most of us would lose touch, only sometimes dropping an e-mail. Myself, I still would be without true love, but not without company on a chilly night. I will rush through the rest of my schooling, and after taking a very highly paying job and working there for two years, I will realize I can't live the lie anymore, and-after saving most of my earnings-will depart for a year traveling again. After traveling, I will write a novel based on my experiences which will be number one in the New York Times, and everyone will recognize me on the street. My story will be about my lost love, that brilliant summer, and how the world is meant to be lived to the fullest not cramped inside a stuffy office with people you can barely tolerate. When I reach 35, I will be sitting in a coffee shop and I will look out the window and see a man glancing in. Our eyes will catch and I will find some gleam of recognition in his eyes, and I will see something in him I thought I'd lost. He will have been the love which I thought lost forever. The one who had left me broken and realing. He will come in, and after ten years apart, we will look at each other over our coffees, me wondering if we could still love each other, him wondering if I would take him back once more. We will walk out together still not having spoken a word. People will see us strolling side by side and wonder what we mean to each other. He will instinctively walk me to my home which I have not moved from since he was torn from me, but I will own. We will both pause by the stairs and then try to speak at the same time. I will smile and throw my arms around him. He will pull me tightly to himself, and I will do my best not to cry. Six months later he will propose to me, and eventually we will marry.

And my life will be that awesome because of one summer. Sigh. Why can't that summer be this one?

BARBIE CONS ROCK!

Yes, I am a huge gigantic loser. Do you have a problem with that? I've just changed the type face color. And now it's bold too. I like it. Maybe a different color... There I like this one for now.

I have Senior Pictures tomorrow and I have to swing by the Business Office and see if I have any Outstanding whatevers-cause I want my schedule god damn it.

A lot has happened but none of it interesting enough to write about. my aunt martia left my uncle ron, that's still in the midst of drama so I can't write any details-in other words, i don't know any.

New color. Maybe a green? Green? Yes, I like green.

I'm looking forward to school starting in about two weeks. Isn't that sad? Not looking forward to filling out applications however. Those might just stab me.

I suppose I'm done for now. Fare thee well.