Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Boo for hormones

Being a girl bites major monkey ass.

Am still fallilng head over heals for someone I should stear clear of. It will only lead to trouble and I'm leaving in the fall. We'll be 2 hours apart. *groan* There's something wrong with me. I keep telling myself it's wrong. But everytime he gets near, I want to lock him in my closet and never let him out. If I had a real closet, and could lock it...

School is looking to be quite exciting. Despite the leaving everything I know far behind me. It's kinda scary in that effect.

I'm not sure what to do with myself anymore. I need to work on changing my attitude. Tonight was an obvious regression back into bitch mode. What ever will I do with myself.

I need a shoulder to lean into. Julia and I were talking during the show. And she was all, I don't even want the action, I just want someone so I can lean into them. It hit me hard. I want that; i've always wanted it. I never realized someone as pretty as Julia would have a problem like that. I mean, I can understand myself, I've made myself rather unapproachable. Despite everyone thinking I'm nice, weird. But yeah, I've made it so that people can't touch me or tease me or anything.

When we took our "senior ditch day" -- the unofficial version -- to downtown and the beach, he teased Amanda relentlessly. When Amanda asked why he didn't tease me, he said, "I respect her too much." Which is kind of odd. I'm so respected that people don't fool around with me. I mean, it's cool, but it puts me in a rather odd position. At the same time that I don't have people invading my bubble... i don't have people invading my bubble. Sigh. Yet another problem with me.

I think I only use this blog for ranting, self-pity, and just random weird stuff.

I miss my old best. I should have called them. They were probably in Chicago though. Sigh. I'll get over it, I will...

My dog is doing better though. Still arthritic, but better. The kitty is a druggie. Which is amusing.

And now i'm off.